Last night, as I walked the halls of my second son’s new middle school next year, I thought about you, Time. In August, I will have 1 son in high school, 1 son in middle school and my daughter in elementary school.
It was just yesterday my son Benjamin was laid in my arms, four months after my wedding day. Remember? Remember how you moved so slowly that first week of his life while he struggled to breathe in the NICU? How you kept moving so slowly inside the hospital yet so quickly outside to the rest of the world? Ben and I spoke this week about his credit sheet for high school this fall- that he will choose the medical track and begin summer school to assure he can design his academic resume around the schools he desires to apply for. Are we supposed to know what to do with the rest of our life by age 14, time?
My second son, Collin was just drooling and learning to say “ball” as he crawled up to the glass that covered my front door, excitedly shrieking to see the garbage man pick up the large can at the end of the driveway (why has he always loved the garbage pick up process!?). As we scanned his new hallways that will soon become his academic home, all I could think about was how fast you move, Time. I will lean into this discomfort. LEANING!
Don’t allow me the pleasure to give you over to the sacred life that is my daughter. She and I have already discussed that she will live with me forever and love ponytails and dolls; and she won’t ever stop skipping as her permanent state of walking. She’s mine.
As a mom who loves to take photos, I find myself stumbling through thousands of images that have been my life since Benjamin was born almost 14 years ago. How my life has snowballed during seasons and collapsed into a snow pile and hiked to the tallest peak and joy of life for me to take in the beauty.
As time continues to tick, I know there is nothing I can do to stop it. What I have come to realize is the choice to become more present in the daily rather than anticipator of days ahead has given me freedom. Enjoyment of THIS moment.
As a coach and an entrepreneur myself, I understand how important it is to set goals and be in action towards those goals.
Action is meant to be life-giving, not at the cost of your peace. It will be uncomfortable at times, which also may leave some scars, yet there is a lesson with every scuff and mark your journey brings you through. BRINGS YOU THROUGH!!! See!?! you are never STUCK.
Time will continue to consistently run at it’s pace . We can resist it, avoid it, or embrace it. I have found that embracing time also mirrors the art of slowing down.
So, today, I am saying “yes” to course creation. I am saying “yes” to coaching a 1st grade cheer team, I am saying “yes” to a smaller coaching schedule, and “yes” to coffee dates with my closest tribal members and “no” to many, many things- like business travel and a jam packed calendar.
Time, the first 14 years of parenting have flown by, I will not allow the last 14 years to go so fast.