Sometimes I feel like I have it all together and there are other days that I wake up and I want to match the hot mess and raise it a walking disaster. May I get a cheers on that?
I have noticed a pattern that when I am flying by the seat of my pants or simply feeling overwhelmed, it is because of either one of two things:
- I don’t have fierce clarity
- I didn’t have it in my calendar
On fierce clarity:
When I was just out of college, I went to the J.O.B. that I was hired for and was able to be productive. I knew what the expectations were and what I needed to complete before I went home on Fridays for the weekend. Even in the crisis situations that were often a part of my role as a Social Worker, I stayed on top of my priorities and was able to manage the unexpected emergencies. There was certain times I needed to stay a little later to complete the task because of that unexpected event yet I knew choosing to go home at the normal time that particular day would mean more work for me the next day. It was about discipline. As Brendan Burchard says in his book “High Performance Habits”, Clarity is a child of careful thought plus mindful experimentation.
To have clarity on what it is that I want, I had to ask myself many questions. These are questions that I continually ask myself on a regular basis.
- Who am I? Not just “I am Lindsay Joy”, but this is about reviewing my values. Are the events and people I am engaged with regularly aligned with similar values to mine?
- What are my strengths and weaknesses? As I grow and mature in many areas of my life, I continue to evolve into a better version of me. I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. Always walking in grace. Awareness is key for me to know how to move forward.
- What are my goals? Goals often come easily to me when I know my why. Being certain on WHY this is important to me keeps my motivation and energy up without the coffee 😉
- What is my plan? A goal without a plan is just a dream. If you know me, I am a kinesthetic learner and successful planning for me often means having visuals around me to break down my goals into meaningful, bite-sized pieces.
Let’s be real. We live in an age where we have many things to juggle. Being a mom to three kids, there is no question that a calendar is a center point to my home. Even on this Monday, I have three kids that need to be at three different places at the same time. This arrangement is temporary, yet do you think I can remember WHERE each child goes and WHAT TIME they are picked up? Absolutely not. There are so many parentreneurs that I talk to that have told me “I keep it all up here, no problem (while pointing to their noggin) only to later hear that yes, indeed, they dropped the ball, too.
My time with my kids is important and I do the best I can. I know that I will not be able to attend every single event they are participating in nor will I always be the mom that volunteers on every field trip or is the mom taxi to every game, yet when my kids have security in knowing that I have acknowledged their activity, it seems to calm everyone’s nerves.
I live by the golden rule that it must be written down. I have developed systems at home that have helped me tremendously. I put it off because I was stubborn that I could remember. I only now wish that I had done this much sooner!